There's No Tomorrow

I write this from the depths of irretrievable loss

Something you can never compare

Something I would never wish for you to bare

A plane glass I cannot see through

Floating in the fluid pouring from the veins of the person I wish to hold

Who left this universe, regardless of its mysteries and mystical wounds

I am unsure of my will,

Just how I am unsure of my life

Today I am walking

Tomorrow I might be gone before the light

Some days I float

Some nights I am still

Most moments I am in mourning

Some mornings I cannot get up,

It is dangerously ill

I prefer being undone that way

Laying in the stillness of nothing

Finding calm in the water of absence

Getting lost in the oblivion that is dark black colour paint

I stay still, I do not move or flinch

Reeking of morbidity

I fail to be the sunshine the flowers pour

At times I am the scratched wall, ruined mind, cursed shed, and broken daylight.

I scream but it never gets heard,

it never leaves my throat

Its echoes stab my skull

I have lost with no retrievable gain

My tragedies shed ounces of hope for me

I do not live in disdain always

Serenity is a myth

And for me living in my mind is my drug

To escape reality, to live, to be free and not kill

I do not find unhappiness loving

Nor is it my way to cope

I will flinch when I see love, possibly run away

But I will not fear and hide when life takes something else that is beloved to me

I am my most calm when I am not thinking

When a disturbingly heavy blanket is thrown on me

It shuts my waves

I will still breathe and wake up to another tomorrow

I will do it for my faces

I will shine, I will disappear, I will join the sky

I will fly with no cause, I will thrive

I will make it alright for everyone to see me soar

I will be your strength, return with no wars

I will turn into dust to join the light.